I’m Am Me Again!

Feeling Great

nancy
5 min readMar 21, 2023
Photo by Andre Maliik on Unsplash

I had no idea where my path would take me; it could just as easily take me to paradise or tragedy. There was no way to know which of death and enlightenment I would encounter first because they were both possibilities.

What I am and what I'm not: I'm not a specialist in any field. In fact, most of the awards that are used to measure success in today's world do not belong to me: I didn't finish school, I don't have much of a "career," I don't have much money, I don't own a house, and I don't even have a driver's license. I am exceptionally unexceptional by conventional standards.

In any case, I have something different which a great many people don't. I'm able to say with assurance that I've been on an enormous journey of self-discovery. Self-understanding has been my constant pursuit for many years. I chose a different course of action than the majority of people. I set out to find answers to the most fundamental questions about life—who I am, what I'm doing here, and what does life mean? questions that we rarely ask ourselves, perhaps only in tragic situations.

I've devoted my entire adult life to this pursuit, and as a result, I've gained a level of insight that can't be learned by simply studying metaphysics or philosophy. an insight that can only be gained by directly examining one's own innermost thoughts.

I was consumed by intense concerns about life and reality throughout my adolescence. These questions frightened and fascinated me at the same time. My surroundings did not provide any answers that were satisfactory. It appeared that other people didn't think about these kinds of things. It sparked a sense of existential dread that persisted for a number of years.

When I got out of adolescence, I found myself at a crossroads: follow in the footsteps of my friends who have chosen the "traditional path," whether that be attending college, pursuing a career, or something completely different.

The customary way didn't interest me. It appeared so routine and predictable. Where are the excitement and liberation? I thought it was like following someone else's ideal of what life should be like rather than my own. My soul yearned for more, for something else. I knew it wasn't that, though I wasn't sure where or what it was exactly.

I wanted to discover my true identity outside of my home. What really matters to me, what kind of life do I want, and what does "success" entail for me? Finding solutions to these profound concerns was my number one priority. I had the gut feeling that I needed to go somewhere else in order to discover the truth.

So I set off into the unknown, making my own way through the bushes. I had no idea where my path would take me; it could just as easily take me to paradise or tragedy. There was no way to know which of death and enlightenment I would encounter first because they were both possibilities.

the first steps toward personal change. I got to know myself in a new way by getting away from the environment that had always defined me. I abandoned my previous identity and independently discovered who I am.

I was exposed to a wide variety of cultures, climates, and landscapes on my winding journey of self-discovery, which took me to many different parts of the world. I wanted to see profound examples of natural beauty and experience the richness and diversity of the natural world.

The beauty of minimalism and simplicity It was a simple and satisfying way of life: living in community, working the land, and being away from the stresses of mainstream society. I was greatly inspired and fulfilled living this way. Additionally, it allowed me to take a step back and really consider what is significant—what are the components of a life that is both satisfying and meaningful?

Finding genuine human connection I first began to meet people who were on the same wavelength as me in these settings. Travelers with similar interests who travel abroad to find adventure and understanding. people I could relate to and connect with in a way I had never done before. Knowing that there were other people who were like me was a profound realization.

I began to realize the significance of genuine human connection and a community that is supportive. How satisfying and enriching it is to be vulnerable and open with others. I promise not to take for granted the opportunity to develop alongside friends and to inspire and encourage one another.

When I come up with my own definition of success, I've come to the conclusion that I don't need much to live a life that is rich and satisfying, one in which quality over quantity is my top priority.

My idea of success is something along the lines of the following: proximity to nature. living in a community that helps you. Being self-aware and mindful. having fun at work. Having a positive effect. being creative and independent For me, these are the foundations of a life that is both fulfilling and successful.

gaining a deeper understanding of who I am On my journey, I have been made aware of the more profound aspects of my own nature. I have a "north star" to which I orient myself as a result of cultivating this deeper connection with myself. It gives me an underlying sense of purpose, balance, and direction.

Who I am is based on the subtle and profound world within me—what I feel and experience on the inside. The human experience is largely shaped by this inner world. Despite the fact that it is not immediately apparent, its significance should not be overlooked. After all, if I don't take into account the more subtle aspects of my own nature, how can I truly know who I am?

I am now returning from a time of youthful adventure and discovery. I'm ready to settle down and figure out where I belong in mainstream society. I have a better idea of where I want to go now that I have taken the time to really get to know myself. Despite my uncertainty regarding the future, I feel at ease. I have faith in the method.

Finding my rightful place in the world is now my challenge. I have a solid foundation—I know who I am, what I want, and where I'm going—despite the fact that I may be a few years behind schedule.

If this unconventional route has proven successful for me, it may also be successful for others. The only reason I'm sharing this story is to motivate other people to come up with their own definitions of success. We all have to find our own way, so take what you can from my experiences and mistakes and apply it to your own journey.

Additionally, don't be afraid to take your own path.

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nancy

Spina bifida survivor, college student, learn, laugh, and love. SIMPLY ENJOY LIFE!