Let’s Live!
I want to die every time. I used to believe that my suffering would end if I took my own life. I’m sick of this life where I only get pain. Every day feels like a struggle, like I’m carrying a heavy burden. It’s hard to get out of bed because I know I’m going to be in the same kind of pain and loneliness every day. Additionally, there appears to be no end in sight. I see others around me carrying on with their lives, grinning, and partaking in their minutes, while I’m caught in this endless pattern of misery. I sometimes feel like I can’t take it any longer because it’s exhausting. “What is your goal?” “To pass out in my sleep.”
It’s my typical response, attempting to mess around about my misery. Be that as it may, while I say I need to bite the dust, actually — I need to live. Behind this craving to bite the dust is the longing to live some place gentler. Where it counts, I long for harmony and bliss. In my dreams, I envision a life in which I wake up looking forward to each day. a life in which I can delight in the little things and am surrounded by people who care about and comprehend me. I envision where I have a solid sense of security and cherished, where my heart doesn’t continually hurt. It’s a wonderful dream — yet it feels up until this point away, exceedingly difficult to reach.
